COLOPALOOZA HISTORY
Every fall, a bunch of idiots from around the country spend too much money to gather in some exotic locale to partake in the great outdoors, devour tons of local foods, catch sporting events, sample a shocking array of malted beverages, and make fun of each other…a lot.
Colopalooza is about the joys of being a dude. And long after we're all too old to do half of the things we've done on these trips over the years, we'll still be able to tell the stories.
About the day Big Al stood up to Cuddles. Or the day we ordered cheese pizza. Or the time Dean almost hooked up with Oprah. Or when Milo battled a few roid ragers with nothing but his driver’s license. And of course about life in the majestic Log Palace.
So come on in. Soak it up. And maybe someday you too will be lucky enough to call yourself a "Paloozian".
THE TOP MOMENTS IN PALOOZA HISTORY
Touchdown Jesus // Boulder 1996
At the end of our first-ever Paloozian Buffs game vs. Michigan, a massive thunderstorm forced the stunned Paloozians to run for the cover of Dinky's palatial apartment a few blocks away. Already soaked, Dean took off his shirt and quickly earned the nickname "Jesus", which lasted well into the late 90's, before being replaced by the more popular "Dinky Diggler".
Cuddles & The Bear // Boulder 1996
As fate would have it, Dean had some Telluride friends ("Cuddles" & "The Bear") staying with him the same weekend as Colopalooza. They were perfect gentlemen the first two nights--gladly offering to sleep on the floor while we took the couches. But on night three, after apparently finishing a handle of Jack, Cuddles returned home and quickly instructed Al to “Get the f**k off my bed!” 18 seconds later we were packed and off to a hotel.
The Ride From Hell // Winter Park 1997
ClemBox led a team of unsuspecting Paloozians on a mountain biking hell-ride that would never be forgotten. After many, many, many miles, Sean fell so far back, he couldn’t find his way home. After finally concluding that he might be dead, the Paloozians jumped into Clem's truck and tracked him down...but not before hitting the gas a few times to give him a just a couple more yards to walk. Needless to say, he wasn’t as amused as we were.
The Bear // Breckenridge 1997
After describing how he’d stumbled upon a large bear just a few weeks earlier at the same Breckenridge stream we were about to fish (to snickers and eye rolls of doubt), Smalls was both relieved and terrified to find the very same bear standing on his hind legs watching the Paloozians as they made their way to the stream. Luckily, Smalls was able to leverage his quick twitch genes, reach the car in seconds and save his fellow Paloozians. Note: image was borrowed from someone on the internet with actual balls.
Juicy Steak Fajitas // Boulder 1998
Upon spotting a partially eaten but discarded piece of fajita steak on Craig's plate, Sean ignored the warnings of high gristle content and finished the pre-moistened delicacy himself. It's important to note that Dave decided to follow suit the next year, thus establishing a bizarre meat-swapping tradition that thankfully ended right then and there.
Would You Like Fur With That? // Golden 1999
After arriving at Table Mountain Inn in Golden one night, we had to wait for over an hour for the front desk person to return. It was painful for the first half hour. Then all hell broke lose as a few of the Paloozians decided to head into the dining area and sully some tables and place-settings. Needless to say, the Paloozians had a lovely breakfast there the next morning.
The Folsom Field Nazi // Boulder 2000
Back in the day, you could walk right into Folsom Field and check out the stadium at any time. In 2000, the Paloozians took that up a notch and decided to get on the field for a highly competitive 100 yard dash. Suddenly this fun gal showed up to ensure we quickly left the field, screaming “Now! I said Now!” In retrospect, having us laughing hysterically while snapping photos of her probably didn’t help our case.
Dink, I Love Your Colleagues // Boulder 2000
Around this time, Dink was working at some sort of new-age small business that produced self-help and religious tapes. We ended up running into a few of his female co-workers at a Boulder dance club called SOMA. After seeming quite normal, they suddenly began to make out in front of us and lick each other’s faces. That was also the night that Milo (in his customary Nike fleece) became the dancing teddy bear. It was quite an evening.
Oh Hail No! // Winter Park 2001
Literally seconds after teeing off from the first hole at Pole Creek, the Paloozians were stopped in their tracks by a fierce and painful hailstorm. Scrambling to put away their clubs and drive as quickly as possible back to the clubhouse, the sound of squealing Paloozians was accidentally captured by a still-running video camera in Smalls’ cart. About 20 minutes later, they were back on the course and under sunshine. Colorado weather!
Just A Few Dust Bunnies // Grand Lake 2002
After a pleasant round of golf, the Paloozians turned their attention toward a more aggressive activity—riding ATVs in the Rockies. About an hour into the festivities, Sean nearly destroyed his rig and decided to call it a day, opting to meet us back at the truck. When the rest of the Paloozian’s finally returned, they circled their hero for several minutes—spinning out and creating enough dust to alarm the local firefighters.
Nearly Oprah Famous // Chicago 2003
A talent scout for Oprah spotted Dean and decided his long hair would be perfect for a hairstyle makeover that Oprah was planning to shoot for that Monday’s show. And not only that, the makeover specialists were going to be the guys from “Queer Eye For The Straight Guy”. And not only that, all the Palooza wives had pre-approved us to stay an extra day to attend the show. And not only that, DEAN SAID NO!!!!! So just like that, what would have been the greatest moment in Palooza history became it’s saddest.
Hurricane Milando // New Orleans 2004
Our first night in New Orleans was the day that Milando met his match in the form of The Big Easy’s most famous drink—the Hurricane. A potent mix of four shots and a schload of sugary punch, Milo had a few of these monsters and was having the time of his life…until about midnight. For the next 9 hours he barely moved. The next morning, he endured a long van ride to the bayou and then promptly stepped outside to unleash what I can only describe as an extremely large pancake of pink barf. Delightful.
Dancing In The Streets // Baton Rouge 2004
In the waning hours of an epic tailgating session at LSU, the Paloozians stumbled upon a large group of tailgaters gathered under a huge oak tree. They had assembled a dance floor of coolers and were playing "Spin The Bottle" with the losers having to get up and dance. Our boy Seanie decided to jump up on the stage himself and do some sort of running man thing. Needless to say, he lost his balance and took a nasty beater to the literal amazement and horror of the crowd. This to me was our finest hour.
The Green Monster // Boston 2005
During our visit to fabled Fenway Park in Boston, Sean and Craig opted to split off from the group and get tickets atop The Green Monster, which was 100% the right call. After trying to snag a BP homer for about half an hour, Craig finally went back to his seat and bent over to look at his phone just as an A-Rod dinger sailed about 1 foot over his head. Oh well. The boys commemorated the epic night by signing “Colopalooza 2005” on the wall.
The Flying Tomato // Aspen 2006
One of the best Palooza’s ever was it’s only winter edition in Aspen, CO. The trip was planned during the Winter X-Games, so the Paloozians were able to see Shaun White in his prime absolutely destroy the competition in the half-pipe. The Paloozians had front row seats along the pipe where we witnessed The Flying Tomato reach aerial heights at least 50% higher than anyone else. Just a phenomenal athlete.
The Hat Dance // Seattle 2009
After taking in a Mariners-Angels game at beautiful Safeco Field, the Paloozians hit the team store on the way out. Wreck, who always gets a baseball cap when he hits a new stadium, was trying on different sizes. To ensure he had the right gangster look going, he tilted each hat to the side and uttered “hell yeah, mutha f**ker” in a Snoop Dogg voice to see how he looked in the mirror. This went on for a while before he realized there was little boy nearby watching in shock. Smalls was literally crying.
Giant Strikeout // San Francisco 2010
One of several “palooza title teams” was the San Francisco Giants in 2010. The Paloozians were there for game 1 of the divisional playoffs to see Tim Lincecum deal a 2-hit, 14-strikeout shutout vs the Braves. After the game, Wreck thought it would be a good idea to get a picture with one of the historic K’s they hang after each strikeout. Great plan. Except the local fans didn’t agree at all, booing loudly until he put it back where it belonged.
Fuel City Tacos // Dallas 2013
About midway through an epic Deep Ellum bar crawl in Dallas (which included an impressive mic takeover rendition of “Mr Brownstone” by Sean) we were joined by Dallas local and friend of Al’s, Mike Gaudet. After escaping a newborn at home, he joined us for a few cocktails and then took us to a dodgy gas station for 2am tacos (it’s a Dallas thing). The most unexpectedly awesome tacos ever.
I’ll Take The Duck// Mammoth 2014
After a long day of mountain biking on Mammoth Mountain, the Paloozians headed over to Roberto’s for some tasty Mexican food and margs. When presented with this menu, Sean opted for what may forever go down as the worst ordering decision in Palooza history. Nachos? Taquitos? Chipotle Chicken Wings? Nope. Sean went for the Duck Quesadilla and paid a steep price for it almost immediately.
Golf Cart Hijinks // Winter Park 2015
Golf is always a bit of a wild card event at Colopalooza. We’ve endured hailstorms, charging animals, thunderous rain, hundreds of lost balls, and even several destroyed or lost golf clubs. Beer and poor play can be a deadly combination. This year, Smalls delivered the Paloozian golf coup d’ grace by attempting to cross a small bridge and nearly putting his $10k cart into the water. All the Paloozians joined forces to pull the cart back from the brink and save the day before anyone noticed. Phew!!!
B-Luv’s Sudden Demise // Boulder 2015
After an opening round at Wynkoop, the Paloozians immediately headed up to elevation in Winter Park and then on to ultra-high 12k foot high Trail Ridge Road in Rocky Mountain National Park. The quick elevation gain didn’t sit well with B-Luv and he came down with a nasty case of Altitude Sickness that landed him in the hospital. But don’t worry, the Paloozians gamely carried on with the agenda, staying true to their long-held creed that “the palooza waits for no man”. 24 hours later, B-Luv was back in action.
On The Field At Mile High // Denver 2015
After expertly encouraging B-Luv’s medical staff to set him free early, the Paloozians made their way to Mile High Stadium to be part of the on-field flag ceremony for the national anthem. Peyton Manning went out for the mid-field coin toss as Smalls snapped photos of future Hall of Famer, Adrian Peterson huffing and puffing like a caged animal on the sideline. A fitting conclusion to one of the most eventful Paloozas on record.
The Franklin’s Feast // Austin 2016
The Paloozians kicked off their second day in Austin by heading to Franklin’s, arguably the greatest Texas BBQ joint on the planet. After waiting for roughly 4 hours, the boys were so hungry, they opted for ordering a little bit of everything. Scratch that—they ordered a lot of everything. Six guys spent over $300 on brisket, pulled pork, ribs, hot links, potato salad, baked beans, cole slaw, desserts and beers. Best meal ever!
The Midnight Moose // Winter Park 2017
Smalls fulfilled a life-long dream to have a Paloozian campfire out in the wilderness. So the boys stocked up on brews and Hernando’s pizza and set out into the darkness of the Rocky Mountains for some male bonding. The festivities were cut short when a massive moose nearly took out the Palooza van before ambling up the slope. That was immediately followed by Smalls spotting a “flock” of foxes that had surrounded the boys (and their delicious pizza). Smalls freaked out and that was the end of that.
The Paloozian Summit // Winter Park 2019
The Paloozians reached their highest hiking point ever when they ascended Rogers Pass just outside of Winter Park. The summit stands at 11,866 feet and actually gave the Paloozians a view of Boulder on the other side of the ridge. We hiked for probably an hour above tree line, and saw several purely aqua-colored alpine lakes along the way. Colorado is truly the bomb.
Another Loose Moose // Winter Park 2021
Our 25th edition marked the return of Colopalooza after a painful one-year Covid hiatus, as well as the addition of future Paloozian Elder, Brad Weber. It didn’t take long for a classic moment to unfold when a young moose got spooked by a passing train and appeared to be heading toward the Paloozian golfers. For those that don’t know, they’re not the friendliest of animals. Luckily he veered to the left and headed right up the fairway.
The Paloozian Youth // Las Vegas 2023
The 27th chapter of Colopalooza ushered in the arrival of our first-ever Paloozian sons. Cade, Nick, Josh and Ryan all decided to brave the rigors of Paloozian life for a fun-filled weekend in Vegas. While they were in town, we played Top Golf, rode ATVs, saw “Absinthe”, caught Raiders-Patriots, had some great meals and of course tore up the tables. It was a solid Palooza overall and hopefully we’ll see move of these young guns in future years.
135 days of pure awesomeness
Most trips last 5 days, but some have stretched to as many as 7 days (because Paloozians don’t let terrorists win). In total, there have been 135 days of Paloozian hijinks. That’s a lot of good times, my friends.
HUGE BRONCOS FANS
Paloozians have seen the Denver Broncos play 15 times, both home and away. During that time, the Broncos have rewarded the loyal Paloozians with a 60% win rate, recording 9 wins against just 6 losses.
colorado is home
The Palooza began in Colorado, which has been home to 14 epic Paloozian festivals. But the “Outside-Colorado” list is quickly catching up, as Las Vegas 2023 marked the 13th trip outside of Colorado.
13 days of fishing
The Paloozians have played a lot of golf and gone on a lot hikes over the years, but fishing is hands-down their most common outdoor activity, having spent 13 full days trying their luck on various rivers and streams.
60 GAMES & COUNTING
Paloozians have attended 60 different sporting events over the years, led by 24 NFL games, 23 college football games, 11 baseball games, and even a random NBA game (we love you, New Orleans) and a Winter X-Games.
1,950 beers & COUNTING
Assuming an average of 6 Paloozians x 4 nights x 3 beers per Paloozian per night, that’s roughly 1,950 beers that have been enjoyed by the boys over the years (63% of which by Allie). You’re welcome, economy.
THE DYNAMITE DOZEN: TOP 12 DAYS IN PALOOZA HISTORY
#1: Chicago 2003 // Day 1
Our first destination outside of Colorado was also hands-down the best Palooza ever. There have been some fantastic events and days from every year but Chicago was close to perfect every day. Singling out just one from that year is tough but Day 1 in Chicago set the standard for Day 1’s forever.
CHEEZBORGERS & OLD STYLES AT BILLY GOAT TAVERN
BUDDY GUY’S LEGENDS BLUES CLUB
LEMON DROPS & BEERS AT BARS IN “THE LOOP”
BURRITOS AS BIG AS YOUR HEAD AT 2AM
#2: Denver 2002 // Day 2
All of our days up in Winter Park have been fantastic. Over the years, the fishing, golf and mountain biking, along with dinners at Hernando’s have blended together a bit. But Day 2 in 2002 stands out for both its volume of action and the fact that it occurred on Al’s momentous 40th birthday.
BREAKFAST BURRITOS AT POLE CREEK
18 HOLES OF GOLF
ATV RIDING NEAR GRAND LAKE, INCLUDING EPIC SEAN CIRCLING
PIZZA’S AT HERNANDO’S + AL’S 40TH BIRTHDAY CAKE
#3: Boston 2005 // Day 2
Boston was our first Palooza in the eastern time zone and we used those extra three hours to eat. We ended up having Italian food every day of the trip to take advantage of the North End’s epic assortment of restaurants and bakeries. Day 2 had that and then some!
PEPPERONI PIZZAS AT PIZZERIA REGINA + FOLLOWED BY CANNOLI
TOUR OF REVOLUTIONARY WAR SITES & PILGRIM GRAVEYARD
BEERS AT CASK & FLAGON
YANKEES VS RED SOX AT FENWAY ON FINAL WEEKEND OF THE SEASON
#4: Seattle 2009 // Day 4
Seattle was another Palooza that was close to perfect. Every day was a true banger. But our Day 4 is so action-packed that it is probably the one day that all other Paloozian days aspire to be. I actually had to double check to make sure all of this happened on the same day.
CRABCAKE BENEDICTS AT ETTA’S + VISIT FIRST-EVER STARBUCKS
VISIT THE PIKE PLACE PUBLIC FISH MARKET
KATY PERRY & ALL-AMERICAN REJECTS AT BUMBERSHOOT FESTIVAL
PRE-GAMING AT EARL’S + LSU VS WASHINGTON GAME
#5: New Orleans 2004 // Day 2
Our trip to New Orleans was a lot like Chicago in that every day was great. While our Day 4 roadie down to Baton Rouge to see the spectacle that is LSU tailgating in person may be the single best event we’ve had over the years, the variety of awesomeness on our Day 2 gets the nod here.
BEIGNETS & CHICORY COFFEE AT CAFE DU MONDE
MILO’S EPIC BARF + RIDING AIRBOATS ON THE BAYOU
ZYDECO BOWLING NIGHT
BOURBON STREET BAR CRAWL, INCLUDING JELLO SHOTS AT RAZZOO
#6: Austin 2016 // Day 2
Austin Day 2 lands on this list in very large part due to Franklin Barbecue, which served us the best meal of many of our lives. But despite the fact that we burned close to 6 hours waiting for and then eating Franklin’s epic smoked meats, Day 2 still offers up an impressive array of quality events.
FRANKLIN BARBECUE FEAST FOR THE AGES
TEXAS STATE CAPITAL & LBJ LIBRARY TOURS
WATCHING MILLIONS OF BATS UNDER CONGRESS BRIDGE
RAINEY STREET BAR CRAWL
#7: Denver 1996 // Day 3
Our first ever Palooza wasn’t as action-packed as later editions. But Day 3 of that trip stands apart as monumental for the sheer number of “firsts” it delivered. First trip, first time on Flagstaff Mountain, first Broncos game and, of course, the first and thankfully only time we’d be assaulted by a Bear.
HIKING AROUND FLAGSTAFF MOUNTAIN IN BOULDER
BRONCOS VS BUCS GAME
BEAR INSTRUCTS US TO “GET THE F**K OFF MY BED”
IMPROMPTU DRIVE TO DILLON HOTEL + CRAIG SLEEPWALKING
#8: Aspen 2006 // Day 2
Our trip to Aspen has been our only Palooza to take place during the winter. Aside from being able to hit Aspen’s epic ski resorts, our visit also coincided with the Winter X-Games which were taking place each night. Day 2 was the perfect combination of both.
STARBUCKS RUN WITH GRETCHEN BLEILER
SKIING & SNOWBOARDING ON ASPEN MOUNTAIN
APRES SKI X-GAMES CONCERT WITH EVERCLEAR
FRONT ROW FOR THE X-GAMES SUPER PIPE
#9: Las Vegas 2023 // Day 4
Las Vegas was special because it involved several of the Paloozian sons who were attending for the first time. Most of them came in on Friday night and we left Sunday night—so Saturday was really our only full day. We made the most of it.
ATV RIDING IN THE MOJAVE
GAMBLING & WATCHING COLLEGE FOOTBALL AT NYNY
ITALIAN FEAST AT CARMINE’S
ABSINTHE CIRCUS
#10: Nashville 2022 // Day 3
When I think about our trip to Nashville, I think about the fact that we did a lot of driving. Too much driving. And then I think about weather—our final two days were pretty cold. But when I just look at the images of the trip, I realize we did a schload of really fun stuff, so Day 3 belongs on this list.
JACK DANIEL DISTILLERY TOUR IN LYNCHBURG
PIZZA & BEERS AT SMITH & LENTZ
GRAND OLE’ OPRY CONCERT
OUR FIRST EXPERIENCE AT BUC-EE’S ON OUR WAY TO KNOXVILLE
#11: Denver 2001 // Day 5
Like any good sitcom, it took a few episodes for Palooza to find it’s footing, which is to pack as many fun activities as possible into a each day. In that sense, I don’t think we hit our stride until 2001. There were a few great days that year, but Day 5 was a doozy. And it was amazingly followed by 9/11.
OUR ONLY AM COORS BREWERY TOUR
WINNING BIG AT THE DOG RACES
BRONCOS VS GIANTS FOR THE OPENING OF INVESCO FIELD
JAY & SILENT BOB MOVIE
#12: Dallas 2013 // Day 3
Day 3 in Dallas was a bit of a change of plans, as there was one BBQ restaurant that we couldn’t seem to find, so we made an audible and switched things up in the middle of the day. Lucky for us it turned out to be a blast and we even managed to get in some BBQ somewhere else.
PROFESSIONAL ARCHERY LESSONS
DETOUR VISIT TO COMIC CON TO SEE “BREAKING BAD” STARS
BARBECUE FEAST AT RUDY’S
NOTRE DAME VS ARIZONA STATE AT AT&T STADIUM
