MEET THE PALOOZIANS
The Paloozian FOUNDERS
CRAIG “SMALLS” JACOBIN // Palooza Count: 27
Palooza Roles: Event Manager, Webmaster, Curb Targeting, Al Monitoring
Palooza History: Smalls invented Colopalooza as a way for he and his cube-dwelling buddies to fight off the aging process for as long as humanly possible. We’re not exactly fending off aging, but at least we have something to look forward to each year. You can rest assured that Smalls is already planning every detail of our next epic trip.
SEAN KAHR “WRECK” // Palooza Count: 27
Palooza Roles: Fajita Borrowing, Folsom Sprinting, Cocktail/Beer Selection
Palooza History: Wreck is responsible for countless classic moments in Palooza history. His turn as a fisherman about to be eaten by a bear, unique taste for saliva-laced fajitas, and penchant for shocking all with his disturbing chest fur are hallmarks of Paloozian lore. We anxiously await Wreck’s next act of sheer tomfoolery.
AL “BIG AL” MCGOUGH // Palooza Count: 26
Palooza Roles: Trend Dieting, Vigorous Elon Musk Defending, Sleeping
Palooza History: Another of the original founders, Big Al is the only Paloozian to have entire Paloozas name after him, including 1999’s infamous “Big Al No Stinky” trip. Most years, Al manages to spend more time asleep than awake, but he actually seems to be getting more alert as he ages (Ritalin is apparently quite effective on adults).
DEAN “DINKY” OLSON // Palooza Count: 12
Palooza Roles: Couch Procurement, Oprah Winfrey Avoidance, Hair Modeling
Palooza History: Dinky is the last of our founders and the original host of Colopalooza. His spacious pads served us well during the early years--even though we've had to be extremely quiet most of the time. Dinky's finest Paloozian moment was the time he went topless and rode the Ralphie statue outside Folsom in the rain. In his soaked jeans, it was pretty obvious how he earned the name "Dinky".
The Paloozian ELDERS
CHRIS “CLEMBOX” CLEMENS // Palooza Count: 15
Palooza Roles: Log Palace Management, Blue Man Stanning, 2x Black Detouring
Palooza History: ClemBox is the owner of the Log Palace and therefore our most valuable Paloozian. ClemBox is also the self-annointed rebel in the group, once leading an ill-advised excursion of insurgent Palozians to go sailng, see Blue Man Group and sip wine in Chicago (my Paloozian soul bleeds just typing this).
MILO “MILANDO” CHAVIS // Palooza Count: 22
Palooza Roles: Fleece Modeling, Stout Tasting, Curb Hit Appreciation, Cake Barfing
Palooza History: It took a few years for Milando to join the brotherhood, but he now ranks 4th all-time in Palooza attendance. Milando's calling card is that he lives to see others in pain. Bicycle accidents, falling items hitting heads, random tripping--it's all good. But if you think you’ll inflict any pain on Milando, you’d be wrong—he’s from LA.
BILL “B-LUV” TAYLOR // Palooza Count: 18
Paloozian Roles: Steak Consumption, Hospital Sampling, Flugel Sourcing
Palooza History: B-Luv enters each Palooza bent on sleeping in bizarre places. The dude is a vampire. However, our recent upscale accommodations have forced him to really search for discomfort. In 2015, he fell victim to extreme altitude sickness, spending most of the trip in a Boulder hospital. He reportedly slept like a baby.
the paloozian brothers
GARY “ROCKIN” OAKES // Palooza Count: 3
Palooza History: Rockin’ took his maiden Palooza voyage back in 2005 and then promptly avoided it like the plague for the next 17 years. He finally returned to the mothership during Palooza 2022 and appears to be fully committed to the Paloozian experience. He keeps pushing for Palooza San Diego along with daily visits to the now defunct Boll Weevil Restaurant, but we’re not holding that against him.
BRAD “WEBS” WEBER // Palooza Count: 3
Palooza History: Webs made his first appearance at Colopalooza in 2021 and quickly became a Paloozian favorite with his unique ability to give impromptu speeches and greet his fellow Paloozians while in full costume. Webs is game for doing just about anything and has been a welcome addition to the rich tapestry that is Colopalooza.
JAY “HUMMER” DEVANEY // Palooza Count: 3
Palooza History: Hummer grew up as an alter boy.... hmmmm...in the working class neighborhoods of Philly...hmmmm...which quite frankly explains a lot. Between his...hmmmm...constant humming and ultra low-volume speech patterns, Hummer is perhaps the easiest...hmmmm...target to ever join the brotherhood. Jay hasn't been part of the hilarity of recent years, but we still…hmmmm…feel the vibrations.
MICHAEL “TO BE NAMED” LEVINE // Palooza Count: 2
Palooza History: Michael entered the fray in 2021 and immediately helped house several Paloozians at his satellite Log Palace near Winter Park, CO. Michael is an avid hockey player and fan—even creates an ice rink behind is condo each winter. Michael is a pretty serious cat, which means we are still working on his Paloozian nickname. That will be job #1 on his next Palooza.
DAVE “FLAVE” OSKORUS // Palooza Count: 2
Palooza History: Flave rocked his only full Colopalooza with perhaps the finest rookie
showing ever. Donning enormous Gomer teeth, he not only provided the perfect mellow counter balance to the general idiocy of Wreck and Smalls, he also "stepped up to the plate" by devouring both a tasty sampling of Rocky Mountain Oysters and a strip of "tenderized" fajitas. All Paloozians dream of his eventual return to active duty.
ANDY “ANGE” LEWIS // Palooza Count: 1
Palooza History: Another shooting star, Ange rolled into Denver for Colopalooza 1998 and then promptly disappeared far into deep space. He was in Atlanta at the time and has since been all over the country at a variety of jobs. But we haven’t heard a peep from him in 25 years. Where have you gone, Andy Lewis? A Palooza nation turns it’s lonely eyes to you.
RON “DUKE” KAHR // Palooza Count: 1
Palooza History: Sean’s brother, Duke was extended an offer to join the Paloozahood shortly after having 2001 named "The Year Of Duke". As such, the 2001 edition was named "The Ultimate Destruction Of Duke", lifting a phrase made famous by another esteemed member of the Kahr family. As expected, Duke proved to be a tremendous addition to the Paloozian brotherhood. We all pine for the day he makes a return appearance and assures us that we’re much younger than the night.
CHUCK “CHUCKLES” O’CONNOR // Palooza Count: 1
Palooza History: Chuckles made what may be his one and only Paloozian visit in 2003, when we journeyed to the great windy city of Chicago. His finest contribution to the Palooza was his outstanding suggestion to visit "Burritos As Big As Your Head" on Chicago's North Side. We ate these possibly 5 lb bad boys in September 2003 and I'm pretty sure we're still digesting them to this day.
JOSH “JOSHY” KAHR // Palooza Count: 1
Palooza History: Sean’s son Joshy became our first official Paloozian son to take part in the festivities when we arrived in Las Vegas for our 2023 trip. Arriving a few days before his fellow Palooza Youth, he was able to participate in the full Palooza experience, complete with a massive steak dinner, a drunken cowboy freak show, and profuse Paloozian sweating during our “fitness” day. Welcome to the Palooza, Joshy.
RYAN “BIGS” JACOBIN // Palooza Count: 1
Palooza History: Craig’s son Bigs spent his first few hours of Paloozahood taking an online test for school—an ominous sign for sure. Never let it be said that this guy doesn’t know how to ace advanced data analytics and party at the same time! Bigs quickly rebounded by taking his first steps toward full degeneracy when he played blackjack and craps for the first time ever…and promptly blew all his cash. Welcome to the Palooza, Bigs.
NICK “NICKY VINNY” OAKES // Palooza Count: 1
Palooza History: Gary’s son Nicky Vinny arrived at his first Palooza with a well-earned reputation for having a good time. He did his best to live up to his billing by gambling several nights away in Las Vegas, although I think we’re all expecting another level of Oakes-style debauchery going forward. Welcome to the Palooza, Nicky V.
CADE “BIG CADE” CHAVIS // Palooza Count: 1
Palooza History: Milo’s son Big Cade also made his way to Vegas to keep Nick company at the tables. Fortunately, Cade was able to match the exact same haircut sported by his fellow Paloozian youth so he wouldn’t feel out of place. Welcome to the Palooza, Big Cade.
MARK “TOBES” TOBIN // Palooza Count: 1
Palooza History: Tobes joined the fray when we ventured to New Orleans back in 2004. Compelled to accept Smalls' invitation after feeling bad about attempting to hijack his fantasy football team, Tobes spent what equated to roughly 73 months worth of his "allowance" on the affair and then promptly went on a Paloozian hunger strike before moving to China to make up for lost funds. A most curious Paloozian.
THE HONORARY PALOOZIANS
LEO “HITMAN” JACOBIN // Palooza Cameos: 6
Palooza History: Over the years, Leo has made several appearances whenever the Paloozians have visited their natural homeland in Colorado. For the most part, it's been brunch in LoDo before a Broncos game or a quick dinner at Benny's (RIP) right after one. More recently, he’s broken the seal and joined the Paloozians for actual beers (and even picked up a few tabs). For this alone he became our first-ever Honorary Paloozian.
STEVE “CLEMLORD” CLEMENS // Palooza Cameos: 3
Palooza History: The owner of the original Log Palace at Darby Wilds is none other than the esteemed ClemLord, father of ClemBox. Steve risked everything by letting us stay in his cabin a few times and has even joined us for a game or a few beers here and there over the years. The ClemLord is a big part of establishing our true north by offering up his Log Palace in those early years and every Paloozian appreciates it.
PAUL “MIDNIGHT” JOHNSTON // Palooza Cameos: 3
Palooza History: Midnight earned his name by showing up for a portion of Palooza 2006 in Aspen in the middle of the night. Chris was in dire need of some expert skiers, so he recruited a few buddies that year to ensure he could go tree bashing and back bowling. Since then, Midnight has made appearances at multiple Buff tailgates, while he continues to assess whether he has the stomach for a full Palooza.
BEN “THE LEMUR” CLEMENS // Palooza Cameos: 1
Palooza History: Chris’ son is affectionately known as The Lemur in Paloozian circles as a result of his off-the-charts hiking/bouldering skills that were on full display at Palooza 2016 in Boulder. As you might suspect, The Lemur was able to climb up on rocks that the rest of us could barely photograph. He’s clearly the nimblest of the Paloozians.
DAVE “STARSKY” FOSTER // Palooza Cameos: 1
Palooza History: Starsky is Chris’ long-time friend and an avid skier who also made the trek up from Denver to participate in Palooza 2006 in Aspen—although I believe he showed up at a decent hour. Starsky earned his nickname with his ultra dark sunglasses and stylish mustache.
MIKE “TACO” GAUDET // Palooza Cameos: 1
Palooza History: Taco has a special place in Paloozian lore, albeit a brief one. While we were in Dallas in 2013, Taco left his newborn son to join us for a few drinks and then drove us out to the middle of nowhere to dine on a dazzling array of outstanding gas station tacos at 2 in the morning. It all seems like a whiskey-fueled dream now, but it actually happened.
TOMMY “THE POUND” POUNDERS // Palooza Cameos: 1
Palooza History: The Pound is a legendary character from Craig’s advertising days back in St Louis. Quick with the one-liners and quite possibly the best impersonator of Rodney Dangerfield on earth, The Pound is a man with a million friends—including the Paloozians.
RYAN “ROYALE PAIN” MATHISON // Palooza Cameos: 1
Palooza History: Although his nickname comes from his painful tenure in Craig’s “Sunday Binge” fantasy league, Royale Pain made a brief Paloozian appearance during our 2005 trip to Boston. He’s a die-hard Pats and Sox fan who was more than happy to meet us at Cask ‘n Flagon for a few pints. Cheers, Ryan!
LITTLE WHITE KITTY “LWK” // Palooza Cameos: 1
Palooza History: LWK made the trek out to Denver for Colopalooza 2002. She survived golf and fishing excursions, ATV riding, and a cross-country drive home after 9/11 shut down DIA. She insisted that she will never come back and she’s stayed true to her word. But she’ll always have a special place in every Paloozian heart.
