2018: ATLANTA “RELEASE THE NUT-BUSH”
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DAY 1: PALOOZIANS IN HOTLANTA
The 23rd chapter in the epic saga that is Colopalooza plays out in the crown jewel of the Peach Tree State, Atlanta. Buckle up, y’all.
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DAY 1: A STICKY START
The trip gets off to an inauspicious start when our boy Seanie sits down in a pile of some a-hole’s gum that was left on his seat. And we’re off!
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DAY 1: IRON MIKE'S EX
Things get turned up a notch when Robin Givens boards the flight. But let's just say she wasn’t anxious to be noticed by anyone--let alone by a horde of beer-swilling Paloozians.
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DAY 1: SOUTHERN BBQ
First stop is dinner in downtown Atlanta. Yeah, we kinda get suckered in by the catchy name, but Bone Lick is decent BBQ.
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DAY 1: PLENTY TO EAT
The boys gather in tight for a touching mid-feast shot.
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DAY 1: SWEET PAD
The Paloozians stay in a huge VRBO house with something like seven bedrooms and literally nothing much to break.
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DAY 1: LET'S GET THIS OUT OF THE WAY
Yes, the annual tradition of Al sleeping right in the middle of something continues unabated.
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DAY 1: JOHNNY ROSES
Milo treats the Paloozians with some special toilet paper roses that he practiced making back at Club Chupa for the better part of the summer. Nice touch, Milo!
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DAY 2: JIMMY'S PLACE
Day two is the largely hated Cultural Day for the Paloozians. The day’s first stop is the Jimmy Carter Presidential Library.
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DAY 2: NOBEL PRIZE FOR PEACE
Jimmy was a so-so president but has had BY FAR the best post-presidency in US history. He’s helped millions of folks.
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DAY 2: JIMMY'S OFFICE
Jimmy's oval office desk featured Truman's "The Buck Stops Here" sign, as well as a great big sack of salty nuts.
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DAY 2: BEHOLD THE NUT-BUSH
Leave it to Sean to find the one and only comedic item available in Jimmy’s gift shop. The phrase “Nut-Bush” would go on to be used about 1800 times the next few days.
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DAY 2: MLK MEMORIAL
After visiting Jimmy’s Library, the Paloozians move on to the King Center nearby. Here’s Milo snapping a pic of MLK’s tomb which is next to his wife Correta’s tomb.
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DAY 2: ETERNAL FLAME
The flame symbolizes MLK’s vision for “a world of justice, peace and equality for all mankind.”
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DAY 2: NOBEL #2
For the first time in Paloozian history, the boys see two Nobel Prizes in the same day.
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DAY 2: MLK'S PERSONAL EFFECTS
A display of some of his clothes, shoes, cufflinks and wallets. Overall the MLK museum is a bit rundown. It seems like it should have a bit more federal funding, given his stature.
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DAY 2: BIRTH HOUSE
The Paloozians visit the house where MLK was born. He later started preaching just down the street.
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DAY 2: HEADING INSIDE
Milo and Al make their way into MLK’s childhood home to check things out and escape the Atlanta heat for a few.
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DAY 2: THE MOST FAMOUS BAPTIST CHURCH
Ebenezer is both where MLK started preaching and also the site of his funeral. MLK gave a speech criticizing the Vietnam War here that many suspect led to his murder.
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DAY 2: MLK'S PULPIT
The pulpit he used when he announced his opposition to the Vietnam War.
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DAY 2: WHEN DID PALOOZA GET SO SERIOUS?
Sean quietly prays that there is a brewery tour or some mud wrestling next on the agenda.
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DAY 2: CNN HEADQUARTERS
Paloozian Cultural Day continues as the boys move on to CNN (just weeks before a major terrorist threat).
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DAY 2: SERIOUS HEIGHTS
The Paloozians take the world’s longest elevator and the scariest ride of Milo's life to the top of the CNN tower.
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DAY 2: STUDIO TOUR
The CNN tour guide in front of live broadcasts of pre-testimony coverage of Christine Blase-Ford.
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DAY 2: ANTHONY BOURDAIN
A poster celebrating the life of Anthony Bourdain was featured outside the CNN Store.
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DAY 2: BRAVES BASEBALL
To balance out Paloozian Cultural Day, the boys head over to catch some Braves baseball vs the Phillies.
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DAY 2: THE KNUCKLEBALLER
There’s a big Phil Niekro statue as you come into the stadium. A longtime Brave, Niekro is considered the greatest knuckleball pitcher in baseball history.
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DAY 2: HAMMERIN' HANK
Braves fans are also pretty sweet on Hank Aaron, who was the home run king for 31 years. Sean and Craig met him at a sports card show in the late 90's. Cool display of 755 bats.
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DAY 2: WAFFLE STAND
It’s hard not to like a ballpark with its own Waffle House.
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DAY 2: I GOT IT!!!
Sean has his lucky glove ready to catch a homer but none are to be had in this homerless game.
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DAY 2: ATLANTA 8 - PHILADELPHIA 3
The Paloozians see the Braves beat the Phillies in their new ballpark. The hot dogs were good. The boiled nuts were not.
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DAY 3: GET IN MY BELLY
Day three gets off to a solid start when the boys visit Sun In My Belly for breakfast.
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DAY 3: NOW YOU SEE 'EM
Behold the amazing Creme Brulee Muffins. They last all of about 19 seconds on the Paloozian table.
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DAY 3: AAAAAHHHHH!
Nothing brings a Paloozian back to life better than a latte.
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DAY 3: COCA-COLA HQ
After a great breakfast, the Paloozians head over to check out the World of Coca-Cola. Milando is fired the hell up.
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DAY 3: ICONIC LOGO
The World of Coca-Cola is probably the best corporate tour in the world. It’s a full-blown museum.
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DAY 3: THE TOUR
Our Paloozian Tour Guide absolutely loves Coca-Cola.
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DAY 3: THE SIXER
The original Coca-Cola bottle-carrying tray that inspired the "six pack".
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DAY 3: THE SODA FOUNTAIN
Yep, they also invented a way to cut shipping costs by selling syrup only, which could then be mixed with carbonated water locally. This process resulted in the soda fountain.
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DAY 3: OOPS
In 1887, Dr. Pemberton sold parts of his chemical company to various businessmen, including Asa Candler, who became the exclusive owner of the Coca-Cola for just $$238.98. Candler also went on to become Atlanta’s mayor.
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DAY 3: OLYMPIC TORCH
Craig clutches an authentic olympic torch as he recalls his athletic glory days back when his hair looked normal.
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DAY 3: COKE MANIA
After the tour, the Paloozians are free to sample about 200 Coke beverages from around the world.
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DAY 3: POLAR PALOOZIANS
The Paloozians bid you farewell from The World of Coca-Cola as they display their bear paws with the Coca-Cola Bear.
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DAY 3: AFTERNOON FUN
After the Coke Tour, the Paloozians split up. Bill and Al went back to take nippy naps, while Craig, Sean and Milo crossed Centennial Park in search of more Paloozian action.
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DAY 3: COLLEGE FOOTBALL
The boys stop by the College Football Hall of Fame to kill a few hours testing their skills.
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DAY 3: OH MAN THAT HURTS
The kicking test proves to a bit too much for the aging Paloozians.
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DAY 3: THOSE SKINNY CALVES
However, Milo does manage to put on a dazzling display of agility in the dummy drill.
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DAY 3: HERE COMES RALPHIE!
Why yes, of course Ralphie is a prominent feature of the mascot exhibit. Thanks for asking.
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DAY 3: BO KAHR
Seanie measures himself up against legendary Auburn Running Back, Bo Jackson. Pretty even.
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DAY 3: STEAK TIME!
Later that night, Milo fires up the gramps glasses to decide on his meal at KR Steak Bar.
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DAY 3: BLUES AND BREWS
After dinner, the boys moved on to catch some music over at Blind Willie’s, home of bass guitar playing gator.
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DAY 3: JAM SESSION
Nothing is better after a long day on your feet than sitting down with a cold beer and some blues music.
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DAY 4: GRAVY COVERED MORNING
Before heading out on the road to Auburn, the boys partake in easily the best meal of the trip at South City Kitchen.
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DAY 4: OH YEAH!
Al is looking quite please with the hearty list of “South City Specialties”. This is gonna be a very tough decision.
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DAY 4: BREAKFAST APPETIZERS
The Paloozians kick things off with a supremely delish plate of fried green tomatoes doused in spicy marinara.
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DAY 4: HOLY S&^T
Here's Smally’s meal, which can only be described as bypass-enducing but worth every stint. These southerners sure know their biscuits. Mmmm...gravy!
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DAY 4: AUBURN TAILGATING
After a 2-hour drive to Auburn, it is time for the Paloozians to do some tailgating SEC-style, as they roll through Fraternity Row to check out the festivities. Doesn’t this just look amazing?
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DAY 4: LIVING THE LIFE
House after house has these chill tailgating parties happening on their front lawns several hours before kickoff.
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DAY 4: WAR EAGLE!
Like every team in the SEC, the Auburn fans take their home games very seriously. I wonder if this rig has an orange ClemBox?
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DAY 4: AUBURN CHEERLEADER
Outside Toomer’s Drug Store is where Auburn fans meet after a big win and cover every tree in toilet paper. It’s also where Smalls meets this lovely Tiger Paw Cheerleader and then oddly decides to do his best Trump impression for their photo together.
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DAY 4: PRE-GAME PIZZA
The Paloozians dig into some quality pizza at Mellow Mushroom.
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DAY 4: BO KNOWS TAILGATING
After lunch, the boys make their way toward the stadium, where Bo Jackson looms large and in bronze. This guy was so tough, he didn’t even bother wearing a helmet.
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DAY 4: MARCHING BAND
Auburn band members walking down the “Tiger Walk” before the game. They’ll be sweating their asses off for sure today.
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DAY 4: SUITED UP
Like at several SEC schools, the frat boys get a bit dressed up for the game. Those jackets must smell lovely by mid November.
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DAY 4: GAME TIME!
The view outside of Jordan Hare Stadium as the Paloozians head in for the game vs th Arkansas Razorbacks.
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DAY 4: PRE-GAME MARCH
To get all the fans fired up early, the Tiger Paw cheerleaders and the band enter the stadium and walk around the outside of field.
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DAY 4: HERE COME THE TIGERS
Then the team comes out and all hell breaks loose. It’s not quite LSU level in terms of noise but it’s damn close.
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DAY 4: YUCK!
All was fine and good until this a-hole was given an Auburn jersey at halftime to loud applause. Oh that’s right, we’re in Alabama.
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DAY 4: AUBURN 34 - ARKANSAS 3
The Tigers use a strong running game and stout defense to knock off Arkansas handily.
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DAY 5: FALCONS STADIUM
On their final day in Atlanta the Paloozians spent the day at Mercedes-Benz Stadium for the Falcons-Saints game.
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DAY 5: FOOLING THEMSELVES
Don't let these apples fool you...shredded pork sammies, french fries and cold IPAs are soon to follow.
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DAY 5: BEER TIME
Ok, now that’s more like it. Welcome back, boys!
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DAY 5: MILO'S FRIENDS
You'd think that Milo had asked these Falconettes for a pic but the request was theirs. Something about a “dancing teddy bear.”
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DAY 5: EXCELLENT STADIUM
Mercedes-Benz is a great stadium. Very similar to AT&T in Dallas.
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DAY 5: TYSON'S SNICKY SNACK
Right before kick-off, the Paloozains bump into former heavyweight champ, Evander Holyfield. You can actually spot the missing section of ear that Iron Mike inexplicably bit off.
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DAY 5: GAME TIME!
Atlanta’s hated rivals, the New Orleans Saints take the field.
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DAY 5: THE FALCONS FLAG
Sean does his part as the giant Falcons banner makes its way up the stands in our endzone section. The Falcons games are actually pretty fun and have a bit of a college football feel to them.
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DAY 5: NEW ORLEANS 43 - ATLANTA 37
The Falcons hang tough behind a breakout game from Calvin Ridley, but the Saints get the final score in OT and the win. So long from Atlanta!!
Inside Colopalooza: Al McGough